One night after bible study I came to the realization that I have an opinion on almost every subject imaginable. I analyze everything around me to perhaps an unhealthy degree. Then I share my opinions with everyone around me and ask them what they think. Then I sit back, ready to hear a view different from mine and gain more perspective on the subject. I eagerly await to hear what other people think and what has lead them to their conclusion. That's when I usually get some half-hearted reply or "I don't know." This drives me crazy and I am not sure why. I often feel like I am telling everyone what I think and they listen quietly nodding their heads in agreement. Why does it seem like people don't have opinions? or do they just not want to share them with me?
I know that the problem is partially my fault. I have a tendency to analyze and form opinions about everything in life and I have come to learn that not everyone is like that. I question whether my opinions come across too strong and people are afraid to respond or they do not want to offend me with their differing views. Am I expecting too much by wanting people to share their thoughts on various subject matter?
Pondering these questions has given me no clear solution and my attempts to ask my friends why they do not share their opinions has not yielded much success. My current conclusion is that this issue; individuals not having opinions or declining to share them with me is my own problem. Where this need to hear other people's opinions comes from I don't know. Is it unique to me does anyone else have trouble getting others to share their opinions with them? How should I know?
I seem to be the guy who is asked questions all the time because people know they will get my opinion. They ask and take my opinion but will not share their own. Good conversation is about the give and take of ideas and feelings. If it becomes one sided then the mutual exchange has broken down and only one person is benefiting from the conversation. This is not fair to either party because one person feels like they are always preaching their own ideas to other people and they never know what people think about them.
I suppose this whole issue that I have is not really that big of a deal and that I should just learn to listen to people more and maybe I will start to hear their opinions come out. I know that I have a problem with dominating conversations and cutting people off. I enjoy being the center of attention and I try to use my quick wit to make people laugh. I can get a bit carried away and caught up in trying to be in the spotlight. I do it mostly because I love to have fun and if I can help others to laugh and have a good time than I will.
This is not the end of my examination/quest to draw out other people's opinions and study conversation dynamics in my relationships. I have no answers only questions and observances.
To be continued. . .
If others fail to answer why most people don't share their opinions, then I will take the liberty of doing so. Most people don't share their opinions publicly because they know it can easily lead to conflict. Coming from a household where any expression of opinions/disagreement was met by yelling and/or screaming and sometimes much worse, I understand how opinions stated unnecessarily can damage perfectly good relationships. The fact: Most people refrain from sharing their opinions because they want to preserve a relationship, or maybe just preserve the day. A bad argument can ruin the day.
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