John Simpson

"History is a well told story"
                              -John Simpson

History, do you like it, hate it? John Simpson doesn't care. The only thing that matters in his class is that you show up, use "that three pounds of gray matter" and learn something.  If you are willing to give him those things, then he promises to make history relevant to your life.  

That line "History is a well told story" is how Mr. Simpson starts off the first day of the new quarter in every history class he teaches.  John Simpson will forever be a part of the story that makes up the history of my life.

Self Reflection

I have recently discovered that I have radically changed in the last two to three years.  The change has been gradual but its full effects are staggering.  It took a new environment for me  to see the changes for myself.  In the past I valued my individualism more than I do now.  I saw myself as the hero in a Louis L’amour Western needing no one other than myself.  Little did I realize how much I depended on the people around me.  I have become much more friendly of late.  I value people more.  In the past people annoyed me and even though I sometimes wanted to connect with them I did not understand how.  Last year was when the major change started happening.  I became a part of a group of misfits.  Almost everyone in our group had been looking to be part of a group but wasn't.  When we all ended up finding each other it turned into an almost magical experience.  With grand adventures and deep thoughts.  This group taught me the value of friendships on a much grander scale then I had experienced before.

HIU Life

My thoughts about Hope International University. One, you get what you pay for and by that I mean it in the most positive way possible. While it is expensive as heck to go here, the people are amazing, and they care about you. A prime example is my Critical Thinking professor who has three degrees, one of which is from Johns Hopkins university. He lets us call him by his first name because in his words “we are all in this learning experience together”, he also said “come talk to me I want to get to know you and be the one to write your letter of recommendation for grad school” what a cool guy.

There are a ton of girls here at Hope. I did not realize until I came here that their are about 3 girls to every guy on campus. Luckily I have many female friends already who have more then adequately prepared me for how to be friends with girls. I would like to thank all of my female friends who put up with me. I am not sure why you do but you have taught me many lessons in how to be a good friend. Thank you for being gracious with me, I realize that I can be rather obtuse and inconsiderate sometimes.

Expanding the parameters and Expounding on my life.

I have made three posts in seven months; that's just lame.  Here’s the reason why. Every time I would start to writing, I would freeze up.  My mind would stop and all I could think about was if my writing was thought provoking and insightful enough.  So, in order to remedy this pervasive writers block that has been stifling my creativity, I am going to expand the parameters of my blog.  No longer worry about if my thoughts are insightful or not; from now on, I will write what is on my heart.  This means I will be writing about things that are going on in my life.  At the same time, I pledge not to turning this blog in to a sad sap journal about my life because that would be lame.

To begin this new era in the short lived history of this blog, I will start by sharing with various thoughts and experiences from my summer.

Is It Just Me? Pt. 1

One night after bible study I came to the realization that I have an opinion on almost every subject imaginable.  I analyze everything around me to perhaps an unhealthy degree.  Then I share my opinions with everyone around me and ask them what they think.  Then I sit back, ready to hear a view different from mine and gain more perspective on the subject.   I eagerly await to hear what other people think and what has lead them to their conclusion.  That's when I usually get some half-hearted reply or  "I don't know." This drives me crazy and I am not sure why. I often feel like I am telling everyone what I think and they listen quietly nodding their heads in agreement.  Why does it seem like people don't have opinions? or do they just not want to share them with me?  

I know that the problem is partially my fault.  I have a tendency to analyze and form opinions about everything in life and I have come to learn that not everyone is like that.  I question whether my opinions come across too strong and people are afraid to respond or they do not want to offend me with their differing views.  Am I expecting too much by wanting people to share their thoughts on various subject matter?

Pondering these questions has given me no clear solution and my attempts to ask my friends why they do not share their opinions has not yielded much success. My current conclusion is that this issue; individuals not having opinions or declining to share them with me is my own problem.  Where this need to hear other people's opinions comes from I don't know.  Is it unique to me does anyone else have trouble getting others to share their opinions with them? How should I know?

I seem to be the guy who is asked questions all the time because people know they will get my opinion.  They ask and take my opinion but will not share their own.  Good conversation is about the give and take of ideas and feelings.  If it becomes one sided then the mutual exchange has broken down and only one person is benefiting from the conversation.  This is not fair to either party because one person feels like they are always preaching their own ideas to other people and they never know what people think about them.


I suppose this whole issue that I have is not really that big of a deal and that I should just learn to listen to people more and maybe I will start to hear their opinions come out.  I know that I have a problem with dominating conversations and cutting people off.  I enjoy being the center of attention and I try to use my quick wit to make people laugh.  I can get a bit carried away and caught up in trying to be in the spotlight.  I do it mostly because I love to have fun and if I can help others to laugh and have a good time than I will.


This is not the end of my examination/quest to draw out other people's opinions and study conversation dynamics in my relationships.  I have no answers only questions and observances.
                                                                             To be continued. . .

Current State: Busy

So in February I started this blog and I thought "blogging, oh that will be fun. I am a full time student with lots of time on my hands so why not find something productive to fill the hours with"?  Shortly after that I got a job and have been working 25-30 hours a week and taking 17 credits.  So for the past seven weeks I have been running around like crazy trying to figure out how to balance work and school, all the while thinking I wish I could get some more writing for the blog done.  Now I think I have found that balance so I will resume writing.  Unfortunately because of this new crazy schedule I will not be able to write as much as I hoped until school is finished.  That's all, I just wanted to inform the three people who read this blog why I've only had one real post in two plus months.  I am working on three post right now and at least one of them should be up by the end of the month.

Passions

A few weeks ago I was talking with a friend about her drama class she's in and she was telling me about her teacher, Patrick Daughtry.  She said how much she loved his enthusiasm and passion for teaching.  It made me think back to when I was is Patrick's Intro to Film and Video class last year.  His teaching was what got me seriously interested in film.  Patrick has an amazing ability to communicate and teach others.  His passion for film and teaching helps to inspire me to be passionate about the things I love.  This spawned a question in me, what am I passionate about?


Two weeks ago when I started writing this post, my focus was on how sick and tired I was of seeing Christians who were not as passionate about God as I thought I was. I saw myself as the good guy who had it all together and was following God's commands.  I would compare myself to other Christians who I thought were the hypocrites and said to myself "well I am doing better than they are".  I was focused on other peoples problems and neglecting to look at my own.  
How absurdly arrogant of me, thank goodness I did not post what I had written before, and discredit everything I said this blog is about.  


Since then I have had a change of heart and I now see that I am not as devoted to God nor do I spend as much time with him as I should.  This realization has come as part of a process in the last few months as God has been working on my heart, enabling me to see things that I have been blind to in the past.  I thought that I had my life all together and God was my first priority in life. However, after close examination  I have come to realize that I have been deceiving myself and others. In reality God was not number one. Now I am on a mission to improve not through my own power but through Gods power.


I am continuing to learn that where I am today in my walk with God has been part of a larger journey in learning to follow Him.  As I have grown God has shown me where I need to improve in my life and convicted me when I do wrong.  I still make mistakes, it's part of life, but God's mercy and grace make up for what I lack.  


Sometimes it seems as if I am constantly consumed by things that take my focus off God.  I struggle to weed out the distractions in my life in an effort to put God first.  My mission in life should be to Love and serve God, not discussing Scorsese films.  My love for film sometimes overshadows my love for God.  I find it easy to talk all day about my favorite films or bands with people, but I am not as comfortable with sharing about God, and how he has transformed my life. 


Last week I thought this post was all done and I felt great about what I had learned and wrote. Yet, I did not post it because I felt that there was one more thing missing.  Yesterday night I found the missing piece.  


A quote by C.S. Lewis "Our passions are not to strong, they are too weak. For we are too easily pleasured."  Lewis said what I have been struggling with and trying to articulate for three week in 16 words.  The frivolity of my earthy passions disgust me, but Lewis' words give me hope and encouragement to live with passionate love for God, seeing all else as nothing compared to Him.  All that's left now is to continue "Walking slowly, but never backwards."

So... What's this all about?

This blog is about thoughts, ideas, and passions I would like to share with other people. I am not much of a writer but I hope to improve my ability to coherently express my self through the medium of the written word. I intend to write about the things that inspire me such as: thoughts, ideas, books, films, music, theology, sports and numerous other topics. I want to write about subjects that engage minds to think, and make people examine and reflect on how they see the world. 

The title of blogs seems to be rather important, so I took some time creating the title. Consequently it is a little long and needs some explanation. Notes on Life: "walking slowly but never backwards." comes from an Abraham Lincoln quote originally, "I walk slowly, but I never walk backward." This quote does a superb job of summing up how I want to live. Striving every day to improve my LOVE for God and glorify his name by becomeing more like his Son, Jesus Christ. Don't worry I am not going to "be all religious," get preachy, stand on a "soap box," or try to shove my ideas down reader’s throats. I plan on asking questions and sharing ideas and interests with others. Hopefully along the way some people will read what I write, enjoy it, and learn something new or comment and teach me something. If not that’s fine, I will continue writing and "walking slowly but never backwards."

To the future, What to look for? In the upcoming weeks I plan on writing several post about: a movie, a music album, my history professor, and what God has been teaching me.